Monday, May 15, 2006

How To Covertly Convert Unbelievers

As Christians we are called to spread the Good News of Christ wherever we go. It's our Great Commission, our duty to God. Most people think that in order to do this you must approach the unbelievers face to face and interact with them on a personal level.

But this isn't true, actions speak louder than words. I've made a list of some easy ways you can spread the Word unobtrusively as you go about your daily affairs. While you may not convert everyone right away, you've made them think about God without realizing it, and Jesus only needs a tiny opening in a hard heart to enter into it and lodge there forever!


1. Sing a happy song. One of the easiest things we as Christians can do to spread the good news is to sing or hum or whistle songs of praise wherever we go. Pick catchy tunes like, "I have decided to follow Jesus," or the one about the Ark and how "the animals they came, they came in twosies, twosies." People hear a catchy tune and they start singing it to themselves and soon they're humming it out loud. Think about it, they'll actually pass the tune to someone else who will pass again, and so on! Praise Jesus!!!

2. The ten foot rule. Anyone within ten feet of you is fair game. If someone sneezes, say, "God Bless You" and smile, while making eye contact. At stores, if someone is in front of you, say, "Marcia! I missed you in Church on Sunday!" When she turns around, you of course say, "Oh I'm sorry I thought you were someone else! From behind I could have sworn you sat in front of me in Church!" Then you'll both laugh and she'll feel good all day, and maybe think about actually going to Church herself.

3. Pay with a check. You can have them custom designed to include Bible quotes and to have pretty Christian backgrounds. You'll hold up the line, so make sure not to take too long and be sure to smile and speak to the person behind you. Compliment her on something. She'll notice your check and the quote, so will the cashier and the managers at the store, as well as at the bank. Pretty cool how many people you can touch with such a simple action, isn't it? You can also always say, "God Bless You," to the cashier instead of "thank-you" or "have a nice day."

4. Shop with a buddy. It's always nice to shop with a friend so plan your trips to Wal-Mart or other big retailers with another lady from your Church. Remember the ten foot rule and remember people love to eavesdrop. Plan a few conversations about something exciting that is coming up at Church like a picnic or other social event (mention there will be tons of food), or talk about how God's love touched someone you both know and made an amazing change in their life. Keep stressing that without God, the person would probably be dead or in jail right now. People can always relate stories like that to themselves or to someone they love. You just may plant a seed of hope in someone's life!

5. Sunday Brunch. After Church take the whole family out for brunch. Organize with others from your Church, fill half of the restaurant! There's no need to plan conversations, after Church everyone will be praising God and spreading the Word with their smiles and their happiness and their fellowship. Pick a buffet type place where you all can move around and people can see just how happy you all are to have Jesus in your hearts. Call each other Brother and Sister, show how all Christians are really just part of one big family, with God as our Father. Make sure you all say grace together with the oldest Brother or the Pastor speaking for all and praying for the Salvation of Sin, the unbelievers just may join in!! And what a better tip for the waitresses then the hope of Salvation? Praise God!

6. At home. Remember your children's friends may not come from a Christian home. If you make their visit to your home a Christian visit, you'll never have to actually speak to the child about Jesus directly. At meals when a friend is eating over, have your child say grace, something simple like, "Thank-you God for this food and for sending Jesus to die for our sins so we don't have to burn in Hell forever, Amen." If the friend is interested, they'll ask your child for further explanation, so make sure your kids pay attention in Sunday School! Also, Christian video games are still video games, and your child will play them with their friends if you make it available. Make it into a treat, give them some snacks while they play. And of course when you host sleep-overs, make sure your child says their prayers. Something like, "Now I lay me down to sleep..." will put the fear of God into any heathen child.

7. While out with your family. A Christian family is a happy family. It's important to make a good impression on others. When going on an outing, make sure that everyone is dressed in matching colors and that the kids are clean and polite. When at functions with non-believers, they will make references to how smart your kids are and how well-behaved. Make sure you respond with a smile but give the credit to Jesus. If the person has a child with disciplinary problems, they will inquire further into how you run your home. Invite them to your Church on Sunday, and tell them to bring their kids. If you've made a good impression, chances are they'll show up.

This is just a small list of how you can spread the Good News of Christ without getting into big long discussions with unbelievers. Be creative and come up with your own ways, it's easier than you think!

90 Comments:

At 15/5/06 5:33 PM, Blogger Cayora said...

Just out of curiousity, have these strategies worked? I've been wondering if things like this did for a while now.

For the record, I can't see them working on me, but the world is full of people who are not me.

 
At 16/5/06 10:32 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Sure it works. It will always work. It works on you too, you just don't realise it because you weren't meant to realise it.

Have you ever sang a McDonald's commercial all day? Of course you have. :) And I bet you really craved McDonald's food that day, too. :)

 
At 16/5/06 2:25 PM, Blogger Cayora said...

Actually, no I haven't sung a commercial jingle all day. I am one of those people who can decide whether or not to heed the things I hear around me, and all that. Weird, I know.

Still, as I said, most people are far more susceptible. I concede that your strategy probably does work on a lot of people. I simply have the deplorable habit of expecting the best of my fellow humans.

 
At 16/5/06 3:29 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Wow, you're special!! Your mind has absolutely no imagination or interaction with the minds of others!! Must be the influence of Socrates.

 
At 16/5/06 7:40 PM, Blogger Cayora said...

Now, now, there's no need to be rude. I'll leave you to it, if you're going to be childish about it.

 
At 16/5/06 7:56 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Well, compared to you, I guess I am a child. You know, because you're so advanced, or as you say, weird. :)

 
At 17/5/06 11:15 PM, Blogger Daniel Hawking said...

Honestly - if anyone tried to use the second comment on me, I'd give them some sort of contemptive glare or similar.

 
At 18/5/06 9:21 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Which second comment? If you sneeze and someone blesses you you'd give a "contemptive" glare?

Well, then, you're a dick who I hope would end up with a really stuffed nose and no kleenex. But it still doesn't matter, because you'd be reacting, and that you have a reaction is all that matters. :)

 
At 27/5/06 12:12 PM, Blogger meaniepoo said...

hm you can spread viruses that way too. btw annie, you dont speak like a lady of god would. my grandmother would put you to shame.

 
At 28/5/06 11:51 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

You're a troll, trolls don't have Grandmothers.

 
At 1/6/06 1:33 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

To the moron I just deleted, if you don't find Christianity a serious topic, go elsewhere. I have stated in the past that posts which do not address the thread topic will be removed and I meant that.

Any posts which question the character of any of the contributors to this blog will be removed.

If you do not like what you read here, move on.

 
At 1/6/06 6:06 PM, Blogger orlandoann said...

Spoken like a true closed mind.

 
At 9/6/06 9:35 AM, Blogger Dana said...

I love the catchy tune part. :)

 
At 9/6/06 11:14 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Thanks! :) Make sure to try it!

 
At 5/7/06 9:51 AM, Blogger imjq87 said...

Please, please, please someone tell me for certain whether this is satirical or not. If not, then, well, this is probably the most ignorant thing I've ever read. It's also why I dislike Christianity.

How 'bout this: Because of this horrible, horrible blog, I will never be a Christian, nor will I go to 'hell' because of it. The high and mighty attitude isn't exactly persuasive.

 
At 5/7/06 10:43 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Hey, if you want to turn your back on Jesus' love it's your choice.....enjoy burning in Hell, sinner!!!

 
At 22/7/06 4:42 PM, Blogger NofakeJesusmoney said...

And what a better tip for the waitresses then the hope of Salvation?

15%, cash. You can't pay the rent with promises of some kind of happy afterlife.

I hated the after church crowd when I waitressed. They were shitty tippers if they tipped at all, and often would leave that fake Jesus money or some other kind of propaganda. If you're out to convert people, it helps not to make them hate you.

I doubt people try to get away with putting those religious tracts in the collection basket. If God demands cash, why do so many church people think it's ok to ask their waitress to forgo it?

 
At 22/7/06 5:30 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Why should anyone tip a waitress at a buffet?? 15% for WHAT?? Filling the water glasses??

You hated the after Church crowd because they didn't give you money? Are you a whore?? You are in dire need of Salvation! To hate so lightly is the Devil's influence.

And ummmm, restaurants charge a lot of money as it is, I never tip unless the waitress is very good (and 20% is the norm)......which is usually NEVER.

And after your little rant on here, I'll never tip again. You're just a bunch of glorified servants anyway. When I give to the Church, the money goes to people who really need it, not to people who are too lazy to get real jobs and who hate those who don't GIVE them money.

SHEESH!! Find Jesus!

 
At 10/8/06 8:18 AM, Blogger kitty said...

Maybe you should think about whether you are saving souls or asserting your own blasphemous viewpoint. Love and Tolerance, my friend, would be a more Christ-like behaviour. Why do you call people whores? That's what people are going to think all Christians believe. It's just not very appealing at all. Thank you for your time and a chance to post this comment.

 
At 10/8/06 8:24 AM, Blogger kitty said...

and what's with the picture of the legs on your profile? and you have taken it upon yourself to be a representative of our beloved Christ, making such harsh judgements? Give me a break!

 
At 10/8/06 8:51 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

????

What do your remarks have to do with this article???

You are obviously angry, and I don't really understand why. It seems to have something to do with my profile picture....you shouldn't be envious, just work out more!!

 
At 10/8/06 12:22 PM, Blogger kitty said...

Dear Annie, I thought about the comments after I wrote them and realized that I was wrong. Please accept my apology. I probably am envious, although I, too, have been blessed with the fortitude (so far)to work out, for which I am very grateful. But anyway what it had to do with the article: I think it is wonderful that you have committed yourself to saving souls. However, most folks do not appreciate being called a whore, or that they are going to burn in hell. There is only One who will make that decision. I just believe that there are nicer ways to approach people. I read a comment from one person that said something to the effect that he or she will never be a Christian because of this blog. That made me feel very sad. In turn, I did become very angry; consequently, I said some things I later regretted. Again, although our viewpoints may not be identical, I do beg your forgiveness. Thank you and have a God Bless day.

 
At 10/8/06 7:39 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

No problem Kitty, of course I forgive you.

Where in this article do I tell anyone to call people whores??

I don't. If I call someone a whore, they most likely are. I don't mince words and I don't baby people. If someone decides not to become Christian because of a BLOG, well, they don't know Jesus do they??

And they never did. Jesus is all you need, right??? If you don't have Him, you ARE going to burn in Hell. Why lie to people about that???

God bless you too, Kitty.

 
At 11/8/06 12:03 PM, Blogger kitty said...

Dear Annie, I usually never go on these blogs but somehow while surfing the net yesterday I ended up on that orange juice thing! Hopefully that explains my lack of savvy...

Yes, some people are so touchy, eh? :) Let's continue to pray for Jesus to reach out to all of His prodigal souls though, OK? Cool.

I'll drop by again to say hello. Do you have one of these blogs that deal with workout advice? I could use a few tips. And you are a very interesting person. Good luck on your evangelistic endeavers. Take care now!

 
At 21/8/06 3:56 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Sorry Kitty, I missed your last comment. I don't have a blog that deals with workout advice, but if you want you can drop by my personal blog missannieangel.blogspot.com and we can chat. :)

 
At 21/9/06 1:13 AM, Blogger watchmanoz said...

This blog is both the funniest and saddest thing I have read in a long, long time. Funny that you don't get the satire returned to you Annie, and sad that your heart is so hate filled that you feel the need to mock believers. Burning in Hell is probably the least of your temporal worries Annie Angel, suffering through this life with such a pharisaically twisted and unforgiving mind and without the risen Saviour as your Lord must be simply torturous.

Yes, He died for your sins including those you are perpetuating on your site. The legs are a dead give away to the sham Annie Angel.

His Hebrew name is Yah'shua and He loves you Annie.

 
At 21/9/06 2:57 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

His name is Jesus, keep your Zionist bullshit off my blog.

My legs are the best on the internet. God gave them to me, and if they get the sinners to follow me back here.....perfect. :)

You obviously have a heart full of hate and envy toward those who know Jesus. But He said we would be persecuted for our beliefs, and you are the proof that what I am doing here is working.

Please repent, and stop mocking those who are better than you because they know Christ and you only know yourself.

Looser.

 
At 22/9/06 8:47 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Well see now, I had to delete you, watchwhatever. I don't have to take that abuse from you.

Buh-bye.

 
At 22/9/06 11:13 PM, Blogger TabithaS said...

Annie,

You seem like a very sweet person. I found your blog when I was surfing, trying to find materials on being a good housewife. I thought things were a bit outdated but I wasn't truely offended until I read some of your comments on this page. It is wonderful to spread the word of Christ, but God loves us and he wants us to love others. I don't think I would feel like someone loved me very much if they were calling me a whore who was going to hell. I was a missionary when I was teenager, which wasn't that long ago. I remember meeting people who had been "witnessed to" by people with your outlook on nonbelievers. They refuse to go to church, and that is not their fault. It is the fault of the person who turned them off to God in the first place. Keep in mind, Annie, that we are no better than them. We may be children of God, and we should rejoice in that, but we are still human. Just like those "sinners" we sin everyday, you included. I think you are doing a wonderful thing by trying to teach people about God, just try not to hurt them in the process.

 
At 23/9/06 12:37 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Tabby, I don't care how people who piss on Christ feel. I'm GLAD they are going to hell, they DESERVE to go to Hell for turning their backs on Christ.

You are not a Christian if you are on here to persecute other Christians. I suggest you REPENT.

I mean, why do you need to find out how to be a good wife? If you were the wonderful loving Christian you claim to be, you would KNOW how to be a good housewife.

You are just an agent of Satan, here to confuse and persecute.

GET THEE BEHIND ME!!!!!!!!!

 
At 23/9/06 12:39 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

"They refuse to go to church, and that is not their fault. It is the fault of the person who turned them off to God in the first place."

LIES OF SATAN, YOU WILL NOT FOOL ANYONE, YOU STOOPID LIBERAL TWAT, THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR EACH PERSON SOUL IS THEIR OWN, JESUS WON'T FALL FOR YOUR BULLSHIT!

 
At 24/9/06 2:27 PM, Blogger TabithaS said...

Well Annie, I guess the reason I was trying to find out how to be a good house wife is because I am not yet a wife at all and unlike you I dont lie to the world and myself by thinking I am perfect. Do not call me a liberal. As far as me being and "agent of satan", I think the old saying goes, "It takes one to know one."

 
At 24/9/06 2:43 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Are you on drugs? I think you need to calm down a little bit.

There is a great article I wrote about how to be a good Christian wife, the link is on the front page.

I suggest you read it. Your Husband should also be told of your drug problem before you get married, hopefully he will make you get help.

 
At 24/9/06 4:00 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

I'm praying for you, Tabitha.

 
At 25/9/06 12:05 AM, Blogger TabithaS said...

What would make you think I am on drugs? That is a ridiculous accusation from a person who is apparently so bored they have to childishly attack decent people so they can feel better about their own inadequacies. I will assure you I have no addictions. You can also be sure I won't post any more remarks here, I AM a Christian woman so I will let it go. Thank you for praying for me Annie, it's always welcome. I will be sure to pray for your soul, and especially the souls of those who come in cantact with you. God Bless.

 
At 25/9/06 10:11 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

You know what I'm bored of?? Stoopid LIBERAL women like you who think you are going to come on here pretending to be Christian intending to tell me off with dreams of slamming me big time. It always ends the same way, with the pathetic troll, in this case you, getting her ass handed to her and stomping off in a fit of insult laced anger while pretending to themselves that they are "letting it go".

I'm really bored of it.

 
At 27/9/06 5:10 PM, Blogger WW said...

Well, Annie, I was thinking about becoming a Christian, because it's said that Christ changes the hearts of Christians and turns them into good people, but but now that I've read some of what you've spewn, I am having difficulty believing that to be true. Thanks for the second thoughts! Good job.

 
At 27/9/06 5:38 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

*rolls eyes*

You think that's original?? It's sad to see you come on here and piss on the name of Christ just to feed some sick need you have to pick on Christians.

Hey, but at least you'll burn in Hell....Good Job!

 
At 7/11/06 1:16 AM, Blogger margalit said...

Guess what. If you tried to do ANY of these things around me, a proud and observant Jewish woman, I would think you were mentally depraved. If you got near me I would think you had serious mental deficiencies (heck, I think that now and I have no idea where you are). If you touched me, I'd have you arrested for assault. If you spoke to my children, I'd probably punch you.

Big News. Annie Angel. WE DO NOT WANT TO BE CONVERTED. WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO CROSS US. WE DO NOT WANT TO BE CHRISTIAN. And I'll say this from my heart: anyone who believes that trying to convert people that do not want to be converted is evil and should dwell in hell for all eternity. the hell YOU believe in. As a Jew, I don't.

ES&D

 
At 9/11/06 11:15 AM, Blogger ambarwarrior said...

Wow! You had a Jew for Jesus comment earlier!! (watchmanoz)

This is the funniest thing I have read in a while!! I guess growing up in the Bible belt I "get it".

 
At 14/11/06 5:39 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

"If you touched me, I'd have you arrested for assault. If you spoke to my children, I'd probably punch you."

Hehehe. You're nuts, woman.

 
At 19/11/06 7:11 PM, Blogger kentdecide said...

>>This is just a small list of how you can spread the Good News of Christ without getting into big long discussions with unbelievers. Be creative and come up with your own ways, it's easier than you think!

Here's a few more:

Strike up a conversation with a war supporteer. Tell them that Christ said what you do to others you do to me. Ask if they think that Christ enjoys the killing Iraqi civilians and waterboarding that's being done in America's name.

While you're speaking to your personal banker, tell him that Christ drove the money lenders from the temple. Ask him if he has ever had that experience.

I'm sure you can think of more, eh?

 
At 19/11/06 7:46 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Money CHANGERS dumbass. Educate yourself before you mouth off.

And as to your lame "war" bullshit, to claim that we kill Iraqi civillians in the name of America is disingenuous and just fucking sick. You should be shot as a traitor you commie bastard.

 
At 4/12/06 8:10 AM, Anonymous Bob said...

"My legs are the best on the internet. God gave them to me, and if they get the sinners to follow me back here.....perfect. :)"


Such vanity from a "christian" woman.

 
At 4/12/06 8:50 AM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Telling the truth is not vanity.

 
At 5/12/06 9:52 AM, Anonymous Joseph said...

Christianity is harsh, but that's what kept people in line...

For example, back then the Biblical punishment for rape was *gasp* having to MARRY YOUR VICTIM!!!

Can you imagine that? How many guys would still rape a girl if they knew that meant they'd have to MARRY her later???

Guys get off so easy now though...

 
At 5/12/06 9:50 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Go yell at the Jews, Joseph.

 
At 12/2/07 6:29 PM, Blogger Elijah said...

Annie,

I am a 16 yr old boy who is born again, and loves the Lord, Jesus Christ with all of my heart. I have no idea in the world as to how I came across your blog (just surfing the net). I am not a theologian or "religious leader" or anything like that. I understand that what I am typing not totally consistent with your original blog, so delete me if you must, but please understand and consider personally what I am saying....

Annie, you are consumed with "Religion". The only thing that you are writing is the "Annie Doctrine". This doctrine that you are pushing is NOT of Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, or of Self Control. Furthermore, your message is that of "Hell, Fire, and Brimstone", "Believe or Burn". You are more concerned about defending your viewpoint than you are about the joyous love and a contrite heart that
and true friend of Jesus Christ has.
It saddens me as a teenager to view a 36-year-old's blog who defines herself as a woman of God, to be using the Bible and the name of Christ as a selfish method of crushing others. This is truely blasphemous.

Please understand that I am not trying to argue with you, or to bring you down in any way, I simply want you to deeply consider my conviction about the things that you are writing.

In Christ,
Elijah

 
At 12/2/07 7:47 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

LOL! If you think you are the first person to come on here and pretend to be a Christian, you are wrong. I have seen trolls acting like you for years, "Sonny."

First of all, this is a post about how to convert unbelievers and contains absolutely no doctrine so your post to me makes absolutely no sense.

I sincerely suggest that you find Christ, that you repent and that you find some form of guidance in your life so that you do not have to go around trolling Christian blogs for kicks.

I'll pray for you.

 
At 12/2/07 10:32 PM, Blogger Sam The Man said...

Hello, "Please" consider these verses before you post anything else. thank you.


Leviticus 19:12
Jesus spoke - "And ye shall not swear by my name falsely, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the LORD."

Deuteronomy 18:20
But any prophet who falsely claims to speak in my name or who speaks in the name of another god must die.’

Deuteronomy 13:5:
5And that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be put to death; because he hath spoken to turn you away from the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt, and redeemed you out of the house of bondage, to thrust thee out of the way which the LORD thy God commanded thee to walk in. So shalt thou put the evil away from the midst of thee.

a little king James for ya! your fav.!!

-Sam

 
At 13/2/07 1:27 AM, Blogger Shoelimpy™ said...

"Sam", a couple of points.

You are completely off-topic.

Jesus never said anything in the Old Testament. Try reading the New Testament for a change if you want to learn about Jesus.

Did you even have a point?

 
At 13/2/07 9:48 AM, Blogger Sam The Man said...

*a quote from above.

7. While out with your family. A Christian family is a happy family. It's important to make a good impression on others. When going on an outing, make sure that everyone is dressed in matching colors and that the kids are clean and polite. When at functions with non-believers, they will make references to how smart your kids are and how well-behaved. Make sure you respond with a smile but give the credit to Jesus. If the person has a child with disciplinary problems, they will inquire further into how you run your home. Invite them to your Church on Sunday, and tell them to bring their kids. If you've made a good impression, chances are they'll show up.

what is this sarcastic bull crap!


here is some verses for you to chew on=T

2 Corinthians 11:13
These people are false apostles. They are deceitful workers who disguise themselves as apostles of Christ.

Galatians 4:17
Those false teachers are so eager to win your favor, but their intentions are not good. They are trying to shut you off from me so that you will pay attention only to them.

Galatians 5:9
This false teaching is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough!

Revelation 19:20
And the beast was captured, and with him the false prophet who did mighty miracles on behalf of the beast—miracles that deceived all who had accepted the mark of the beast and who worshiped his statue. Both the beast and his false prophet were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning sulfur.


The same meaning of verses transfer over into the new testament. you shouldn't be so "ignorant" about what real Christianity is, and what the world of sin has caused you to believe in...and that is, a false presentation that is not a good representation of what Christianity really is. Take some heed to the real facts of the bible instead of your mindless twisted doctored view of Christianity.

-Sam

 
At 13/2/07 9:12 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

You're the kind of crazy person who gives Christians a bad name.

 
At 13/2/07 10:03 PM, Blogger Sam The Man said...

ha ha crazy about truth? then yes!!... See, I'm the kind of Christian who sees right through false doctrine (like yours), and compares it to God's word, and am able to tell the "truth" in the midst of your lies.

 
At 14/2/07 1:40 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Nope, you're just some nutbar. Or you could be under the influence of Satan, a false Christian sent by the devil to this post about converting the unbelievers. Satan doesn't like it when people come to Christ, he has lots of little tricks to try to confuse people.

Well I won't be confused, buddy. I am VIGILANT for the Lord, I can see through your bullshit, you are NOT a Christian you are a mocker and an unbeliever and you will BURN in the firey pits of Hell if you don't TURN to the Lord. There is a day coming when EVERY knee will bend, every KNEE, including YOURS. You will BOW before the Lord on that day of RECKONING and HE WILL NOT KNOW YOU and you will be turned away from God and sent to the pits to DWELL burning in the lake of FIRE.

REPENT!

If you don't you will be lost forever, and forever is a very long time. A very, very long time.

We are commissioned to spread the WORD, we are COMMISIONED to convert the unbeliever.

We true Christians know that, and that was your mistake, Satan. NOW GET THEE HENCE!

 
At 14/2/07 2:50 PM, Blogger Sam The Man said...

I love ALL of your responses, Annie!
YOU are an excellent example to others on how to respond to someone when SCRIPTURE is presented!
Thanks for all of your pointers and tips on what to do in these situations! I will now go and do likewise, showing the same wrath to the world based on your divine example!

In loving kindness,

-Sam

 
At 14/2/07 4:30 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Go scream scripture on the street corner, Sam. You're not a Christian. You're a troll.

Have a nice life, the next life will be HELL for you.

 
At 14/2/07 5:05 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Sorry Sam, I won't give you a forum to rant here. I'll be deleting your last post and I'll be deleting you from now on.

Trolls who piss on Christ are not welcome here. I have better things to do with my time than to deal with nutcases like you.

In fact, this is an old post. Unless someone has something on topic to say that hasn't been said before, COMMENTS CLOSED.

 
At 14/2/07 5:11 PM, Blogger Sam The Man said...

Annie, I feel Condemned. Thanks for your time.

-Sam

 
At 14/2/07 5:13 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Thank your friend Jeff Perado, you fucking piece of shit Christ pissing troll.

I hope you rot in Hell for pretending to be what you are not, and I'm sure Satan will assrape you for eternity.

Looser. Tell Jeff I said, "hey."

 
At 14/2/07 5:17 PM, Blogger Sam The Man said...

I repent. What must I do to be saved?

 
At 14/2/07 5:23 PM, Blogger Elijah said...

after reading all of this, I repent too! I want to convert from my satanic ways to a God-fearing Christian man!

How though??? HOW????

 
At 14/2/07 6:38 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

You don't really want to repent. I can tell sarcasm when I see it.

So can Jesus. You think you can act all cute and pull the wool over His eyes on Judgement Day? You can't.

Go tell your mother how you act online. I hope she whoops you.

 
At 14/2/07 6:44 PM, Blogger Elijah said...

To whom is that last message adressed to? I think you may be right about that Sam kid, but as for me, I DO WANT TO BE SAVED! I DON't WANT TO BURNED IN THE PITS OF HELL!


Please tell me what I need to do!

 
At 14/2/07 6:44 PM, Blogger Elijah said...

To whom is that last message adressed to? I think you may be right about that Sam kid, but as for me, I DO WANT TO BE SAVED! I DON't WANT TO BURNED IN THE PITS OF HELL!


Please tell me what I need to do!

 
At 14/2/07 6:49 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Why can't I see your profile, Elijah? What are you hiding?

 
At 14/2/07 6:53 PM, Blogger Sam The Man said...

You're right. I WAS being sarcastic. I want you to see that your persuasion tactics are absolutely radical (not to mention, profane). with every response that follows, I'll just smile down upon you from my stooping esteem.

Happy Valentine's Day.
-Sam

 
At 14/2/07 6:55 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

You need help, Sam. And a life.

Find Jesus. Maybe this is the wake-up you needed to realise just how lost you are.

 
At 14/2/07 7:04 PM, Blogger Sam The Man said...

You got me. You hit me with my arms and legs spread WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY open. I'm going to stop living in my parents house, I'm going to FINALLY be exposed to sunlight, and crawl out of this rotting and decaying hole that i like to call "Annie Angel Blog hole"

Just joking, lets keep up this fruitful time of Christian fellowship.

-Sam

 
At 14/2/07 7:11 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

I would have bet you still lived with your parents.

Why are you afraid to move out on your own, to start a life of your own?

You don't ned to be alone, ask Jesus to abide in your heart, and you will always be "home."

 
At 14/2/07 7:26 PM, Blogger Sam The Man said...

DO you honestly suggest (in spite of all of your "how to raise a good kid" blogs) that a teenager be separated from the loving embrace of a Christian family??
Honestly, I have a persuasive hunch that you were deprived of such TLC.

I am flattered, nonetheless, that you consider me to be a fellow Adult who is qualified to make it on his own. That really makes me feel good. Once again with the whole "stooping and to look down upon you." thing.

-Sam

P.S. (That means "Post-Script" for the audience watching)
Also, did you take your PMS medicine recently? not sure.

 
At 14/2/07 8:03 PM, Blogger Sam The Man said...

In all sincerity though, and please answer this honestly and without a defense towards me.... What is worship to you? How do you praise your Creator?

 
At 14/2/07 8:29 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

I didn't really consider you an adult, which is why I told you to get a life of your own, however I considered you to be a 20 something looser with no job and no life. If that flatters you, well, ok.

Now little boy, you will be deleted on sight, as this is a grown up space, and not a space for children. Your PMS joke is evidence of why.

Now go brush your teeth and get in your jammies and go to bed. don't forget to say your prayers.

 
At 7/3/07 10:52 PM, Blogger Billy said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 7/3/07 11:03 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

That's nice, Billy, but I have one question.

Do you have your Mommy's permission to be the anti-Christ?

It is a school night you know.

*rolls eyes*

 
At 15/3/07 2:53 PM, Blogger Lisette said...

Annie.

Thank you so much for letting my in. The hate in the blog is filling and glorious. The cursing makes my eyes water with tears of joy.

The fear in your heart is my chasm to fill. Luscious darkness. You are drawn by this power, hmm? Yessss?

The Devil loves you, Annie. He wants to wrap you in his blood-red cloak and take away all your fears. You can become more than God, stronger. He sees into your heart, and knows what you wish. He fufills all wishes, Annie, if you'll only accept. Yes,yes. Jesus is your savior. But I can be more. I can save you from yourself AND from God and these pitiful mortals who think YOU idiotic.

Yb eht rewop fo eht ecnirp fo ssenkrad, snomed retne siht nemow.

Reficul sevil.
Reficul sevil.
Reficul sevil.
Reficul sevil.
Reficul sevil.
Reficul sevil.
Reficul sevil.
Reficul sevil.

 
At 18/3/07 2:51 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

You're a fruitcake.

 
At 26/3/07 3:04 AM, Blogger Lisette said...

*rips off arm*

*bites*

BLECH!!!!

NO WONDER I INVENTED IT! IT'S WORK OF THE DEVIL!!!

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA

 
At 23/5/07 9:47 AM, Blogger BabyT2 said...

Hey there Annie
I just got to ask you, in your profile you say that you are an fitness professional (wath ever that is) and then there is a pic. of a pare of legs, now is this your legs???
If it is i would recomend that you try to work-out a bit perhapts jogging or swimming and by the way, are all american wommen as fat as you??? I hav heard that they are rader big but i newer knew how big until now :-S
W.G.R.

sir. Thomas

 
At 23/5/07 9:47 AM, Blogger BabyT2 said...

Hey there Annie
I just got to ask you, in your profile you say that you are an fitness professional (wath ever that is) and then there is a pic. of a pare of legs, now is this your legs???
If it is i would recomend that you try to work-out a bit perhapts jogging or swimming and by the way, are all american wommen as fat as you??? I hav heard that they are rader big but i newer knew how big until now :-S
W.G.R.

sir. Thomas

 
At 16/6/08 10:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Annie,

you are my hero. I love the satire keep it up. I know nobody in their right mind would believe that using concentrate orange juice would classify someone as a "whore." That's just crazy, oh and the stuff you say, I know that NOBODY who was sane would say the stuff you say unless it was all for paridical satire. You make even the most fundamentalist Christians seem moderate in their comments after reading your blog.

You are the best Annie. I say this in all honesty when I say that you're my hero. I know you are a good person, and I know this is what you do for some kicks. It makes me laugh like a good satire should, it humours the concerned and makes the unconcerned concerned. You're a true genius.

Sincerely
Evelyn

 
At 14/11/08 12:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy Horus, this is the most pathetic collection of garbage I have ever seen. You are all complete MORONS. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you. I mean, I do understand, religion is a disease passed down generation by generation, but seriously. I feel so sorry for you people whose minds are enslaved by sheer garbage. Go out and read a book other than the bible (which was by the way written by deluded men hundreds and thousands of years ago, edited at will, weeded through by removing contradicting books, and presented as "the word of God").

What a joke! Sometimes I have to pinch myself to see if this is real. Am I really reading this? Is this a dream? AnnieAngel, With overwhelming odds you would be a Muslim had you been born in a Muslim family. You would be equally deluded and most likely have some other worthless blog expressing your back-to-back bullshit.

The difference between you and I is that I am open to the possibility of there being a God. It may not seem like it, but I certainly am. I was raised a christian and attended christian schools all the way through high school. I finally opened my mind and came to the belief that the odds are very much in favor of there not being a god, but because I can't prove it, it's possible. If god wants to present himself to me, then so be it, and I will believe. He never has, most likely because he doesn't exist.

Abiogenesis clearly demonstrates how a single-celled organism could come about in our early atmosphere, and our genetic records and fossil records do the rest by proving our evolution from there. It proves how all of this can happen without the ridiculous notion of a "god". This is one tiny example of what you could enrich your mind with if you broke free or opened yourself to at least make a rational judgement; but no, you could never do that, as scripture can never change. It reads as it reads; each line of bullshit, one after another. PLEASE find a new hobby.
-A happy de-facto Atheist

(to be relevant, your covert conversions are ignorant and annoying).

 
At 16/11/08 1:11 PM, Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Such arrogance!

"If god wants to present himself to me, then so be it, and I will believe."

You would believe? Wrong, you would know.

Belief implies faith. Without faith, you will never know God.

 
At 5/1/09 8:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Annie how dare you call these people stupid idiots, whores, crazies, or druggies. I know that perhaps some of these people are, but not all of them. Classifying people without even knowing them into limited categories is stereotyping. I too am not christian, and I have never slept with someone or taken drugs. I have been tested for mental disorders and I was not found crazy. I have only purposely hurt someone once, and I have only lied five times in my entire life. Almost, everything I did bad was done when I was very young because I didn't know any better, but I do now. Also, I have an intelligence of about 200 on a scale of 200 with 200 being the highest possible intelligence. I am not depressed either about not being Christian. As a matter of fact I am glad that I'm not Christian because your type of Christianity motivates the destruction of entire cultures and even people. Your type of Christianity is also the kind that inhibits diversity which is necessary for the survival of the human race. Destruction is the work of Evil!
By the way, you need to know the meaning of a word before you say it. I noticed that you misused the words imagination and intelligence. Intelligence is the ability to use what you have and know for a multitude of tasks, and imagination is the ability to create images in the mind of things that are not found in this world.

P.S. I will never convert to Christianity because there is nothing in this world that will ever convince me of the complete validity of Christianity. Although, I don't hate Jesus, I just believe that he was a great man, one of the greatest.
Have fun destroying things including other people's self esteem.

 
At 22/4/09 11:59 AM, Anonymous Satansservent said...

Hey Annie, satan says good work.
So far you've driven away about 5 thousand people from religion forever :)
Anyway, Satan wants me to ask if your next post can include 'fuck-you-jesus-fucking-slut-bastard'.
That should go down well.

Seriously, religion is meant to be about the whole 'love and kindness' thing not burning in hell. Really think your kicking yourself in the balls here.
Also, so this post has some relation to the blog: When I here things like 'god bless you' and holy songs I generally think about the reasons why people think god exists which leads me to why I don't think he exists so it pretty much reaffirms my own atheism :)

btw, have you ever heard the phrase 'virus of the mind'?
I personally believe religion is like a virus of the mind. Think about it. It convinces its host to defend and spread it. It drains from the host, (lots of cash wasted to build cathedrals), multiplies itself rapidly, and mutates into lots of different forms (eg. islam, christianity, judaism, budaism, scientology).
Hope this has made you think although I know the only reply do this will be 'burn in hell demon sucking jesus raping piss fucking satanist bastard'. Didn't some bloke once say 'take not jesus name in vain' or something like that? I've never read the bible so can't quote exactly. Happy holidays :)

 
At 5/6/09 2:44 PM, Blogger Tammi said...

« AnnieAngel said...

Sure it works. It will always work. It works on you too, you just don't realise it because you weren't meant to realise it.

Have you ever sang a McDonald's commercial all day? Of course you have. :) And I bet you really craved McDonald's food that day, too. :)
16/5/06 10:32 AM»


are you saying it works because your husband told you to say it (blindly even)AnnieAngel? out of all the parents you've encountered, christian ones, you're telling me that these methods work 100 percent of the time on all these Christian families? If they do work all the time, there shouldn't be any backslidden christian children, right? And if there are no backslidden children, there shouldn't be any dissension in the church,right? Or am I wrong about that? Then all these kids grow up to be outstanding citizens in the church, especially the ladies. They grow up basically with no identity or mind of their own outside of her husband, who by the way has learnt to be an outstanding man of his house, with no sexual or no moral flaws of his own. Yeah, God and Christ needs to be at the forefront of everyone's life, I totally agree, but not to the point of a husband satisfying his ego no matter what his wife says or does, or not to the point where the wife is suffering internally (chances are she is) fearing what her husband or her church says about her. what the husband and the wife need to do first and foremost is to put God and Christ first, pray like-mindedly. Try reading the entire book of Ephesians. the part about what it says about how a husband and wife should treat each other.

I feel that each person should do his/her part to achieve his/her own salvation, not completely depend on others for it.

 
At 1/9/09 5:12 PM, Blogger Allison said...

Annie... As a woman who is attempting to spread God's word, you are really making a mockery of it with your follow up comments. You get in the flesh so quickly and snap at people who are genuinely curious. That's not very Jesus-like. Yes, you are getting a reaction, but it's not the type of reaction that's going to make someone say, "Hmmm. That Annie is great. The Lord has done wonders in her life." You know what I mean? I give you a lot of credit posting your blogs here. It takes guts, now THAT is what Christians should be like. Please just take heed in what you're saying when someone disagrees. If nothing else, don't answer them, or answer in scripture. The Lord used scripture all the time to fight off Satan. God Bless you.

 
At 21/9/10 2:41 PM, Anonymous Kalasen said...

Because a "God bless you" when I sneeze is going to make me change my beliefs about the universe. Look... if you want to change people's minds, learn how to actually do it. Look at debate - particularly logical fallacies, because those are the easiest way to shoot down any argument. If you want to go a more meta, subversive route, look at psychology and sociology. I'm not sure that's the way you want to go with this - I'm pretty sure conversion is about making an informed change of mind.

And if you do look at psychology and sociology, you see that this tactic you are suggesting is effective, but only on people already receptive to the idea. Namely, it makes Christians who already agree with the message feel better. A non-Christian is just immediately reminded of why they don't believe that particular take, or irked by the attempt at suggestion with such a, well, cheap tactic.

You don't change many minds by writing a quote from what many believe to be a propaganda or historical fantasy book. If, however, you can solve the Problem of Evil in a meaningful way, I'm sure a lot of minds will be changed.

 
At 21/9/10 2:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, I just now realized that this blog is either a stealth parody or a fine example of Poe's Law. Either way... well done.

 
At 22/9/10 10:18 PM, Anonymous Marie said...

Man I feel so sorry for an real christians out there. They are probably burying their face in their hands thinking about how much of an embarrassment you are.

 

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